Questions to Rob Newman, Kent Williston, John Parish and Joe Alexander

Some very pointed and direct questions to the church leadership. Their latest debacle in leadership is on full display.


Rob, Kent, Joe and John,

Since reading your letter regarding Reta and Tamara, I have had many sleepless nights with these burning questions:

  1. Have you ever removed a brother worker who was a “load” on his coworker?
  2. How do you define “load?” Have you carefully drafted the criteria for removing other “loads” in the future?  Is it in writing and will you share it?
  3. Did you consult with Reta, and consider what accommodations you could provide her that would allow her to continue in the work?
  4. Are you going to openly publish all of these types of decisions as to workers in the future? 
  5. How is it that you expect spouses to remain in unhappy or unhealthy  marriages until death, yet you do not expect any sister to remain with a coworker for even one year when you apparently perceive them as a “load” or difficult?
  6. Did you consider consulting with a sister worker when drafting that letter? If yes, who are they and why didn’t the sister worker(s) also sign the letter? 
  7. Did you poll every sister worker to determine no one was willing to spend the year with either Reta or Tamara?
  8. Will you be giving Reta financial support to be able to live outside the work, taking into account the extra help you apparently think she needs?
  9. Why is it after years of silence and opaqueness about everything (CSA, finances etc), you chose this one time to be “transparent”?
  10. Where are the apologies from the other three signers of the letter?
  11. Since you all signed the letter, is it safe to assume you all fully believed the words, and that it is a reflection of your hearts towards two sisters who gave so much of their life to the ministry? Or was there any part you did not believe, nor otherwise fact check, such that it was false?

As a 30 year employment lawyer litigating and consulting on personnel issues (and as an aside, focusing on sexual assault and sexual harassment cases), I have only rarely seen such a cruel, uneducated and ill-advised communication from leadership. As someone who spent 50ish years going to meeting, or having meeting in my home,  I have never been as ashamed as I am now to have ever been associated with your group.

I have watched with horror at leadership’s mishandling of CSA/SA over the last several months. And yet sadly, I somehow expected it. Why? Because you have all conveniently labeled victims, and those that have left the church, as “bitter,” while labeling yourself as “led by God.”

What I did not expect was for you to eat your own. 

I write this of my own accord. I have not spoken with Reta or Tamara or any worker for over 8 years.  But my heart goes out to both of them for the hurt you have undoubtedly caused them. I still care deeply for so many of your current members and believe they deserve answers to the above questions – in the same transparent manner you openly dismissed these two workers. 

Thank you for your anticipated, open response.



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